3

​Tact

5

​​​​​​​LEADING WITH CHARACTER!
​

​​“Tact is the oil which lubricates society and prevents its harsh and heterogeneous particles from grating against each other; and in proportion as a person possesses this valuable emollient, so will he go roughly or smoothly through the world.”

Charles William Day

 Listen to Story 1. 

​Introduction

Many of us, after seeing movies or TV shows about Marine Corps boot camp, are undoubtedly surprised that tact is on a Marine Corps leadership trait list. We see a lot of untactful behavior depicted in those shows – insults, screaming, and questionable language. But that stereotypical depiction of life in Marine boot camp is no longer valid. Today, courtesy and respect play an important role throughout the chain of command in the Marine Corps, including boot camp.

For example: U.S. Marines being trained for duty in Iraq are getting drilled in people skills as well as heavy weaponry. The coarse talk and the gruff demeanor, which are so much a part of the Marine image, are being toned down.

It is not just “Semper Fi!” anymore. It is “semper respectful”. Even in emergency situations, when orders must be abrupt and rapid, there is no room nor need for discourtesy. All orders given will be obeyed, but those given with tact will be obeyed more willingly.

Tact

Tact is the skill of telling people the truth while being mindful of their reactions and feelings. It encompasses a wide range of positive values - respect, thoughtfulness, honesty, discretion, compassion, courtesy, and diplomacy.

The original meaning of the word tact referred to the sense of touch (as in 'tactile') and came to mean skill in dealing with persons or sensitive situations. Tact is sometimes described as an intuitive perception of what is fit and proper and right. It alludes to one's ability to conduct delicate negotiations and personal matters in a way that recognizes mutual rights, and yet leads to a harmonious solution. 

Communicating with tact is important to us for several reasons: It demonstrates our professionalism, maturity, character and integrity; it builds our credibility and enhances our reputation; it enables us to stand out from the crowd, thus enhancing our prospects for professional growth; and it helps avoid conflict.

Effective communication, one of our greatest tools in building positive relationships, involves three key components: 1. Content (What we say), 2. Timing (When we say it), and 3. Presentation (How we say it). 

Content (What we say) – Tact is the ability to communicate in the language that best allows a listener to understand the message or meaning that’s being communicated and to be motivated to act upon it. Given that constraint, the tactful leader chooses the language that will help the people with whom he is communicating motivate themselves. Tact is the ability to say something or make a point in such a way that, not only is the other person not offended, he or she is totally receptive. Being tactful comes with training and maturity but it’s also determined by making the right decisions – the right decisions about what to say. 

Honesty truly is our best course of action in our communications with others. One thing that is attractive about honesty is that we never have to worry about what story we may have told in the past, because truth is Truth, and the truth doesn’t change. Therefore, if we live in truth and speak truth consistently, our lives can become measurably less stressful. 

That means embracing the truth, living the truth, and telling the truth. We must mean what we say, and say what we mean. No beating around the bush, so to speak. However, we must express truth with respect and dignity for the other person. This requires that we exert consideration and tact. 

One Marine has always tried to be a very truthful person. However, most of his life he seriously lacked tact, to the point that it was detrimental for him. He has always been one to say what he meant and mean what he said, but maybe with a bit too much honesty! Tact can be a foreign language to some of us. I know it was for One Marine. He cared more about being right than being kind. 

Listen to Story 2. 

Timing (When we say it) - Unfortunately, many people have seemingly focused exclusively on content, while ignoring the vital components of timing and presentation.  What we say (content) is important, but we are not just expected to speak the truth; we are expected to speak the truth with wisdom and sensitivity, and appropriate timing. 

A person of tact doesn’t only consider the content or the accuracy of the message, but also considers the well-being of the hearer and cares enough to seek the best time to communicate the truth. Even the greatest content can be significantly undermined if we don’t exercise wisdom and sensitivity when we communicate that content. When we say the truth (that needs to be said) shares equal billing with the truth itself for the tactful individual. 

Listen to Story 3. 

Presentation (How we say it) 

Listen to Story 4​.

We will probably all have to communicate painful or sensitive information at some point in our lives. And, while it's important to tell the truth, when we tell that truth, we need to also think about how we do it. We must learn to be honest, while respecting a person's feelings. Open body language and a courteous vocal tone will communicate our truthfulness and empathy and willingness to work together. 

If we're too direct when we speak, we can appear aggressive and this might be a barrier to the receipt of our message. This is true not only communicating sensitive information, but in many day to day situations as well. We should avoid saying things in such a way that they seem judgmental or negative. People react to positive sounding words, even if they are used with a negative intent. For example: Instead of, “That's a bad idea.”, we might say, “Perhaps that isn’t such a good idea.” 

Also, the setting we choose and our demeanor as we deliver our message can have a profound effect on how it is received. Consider the following: 

Listen to Story 5​. ​

Conclusion 

When we communicate tactfully, we can preserve relationships, build credibility, and demonstrate empathy to our listeners. In order to do so, we need to create the right environment and think before we speak. 

We need to choose our words carefully, be aware of our timing, and ensure that our body language matches our message. 

We need to appear open when we're communicating, even if we're giving bad news. Open body language and a courteous demeanor will go a long way toward making our communications more acceptable and effective. 

Listen to Story 6.

“Tact is a combination of good temper, ready wit, quickness of perception and ability to take in the exigency of the occasion instantly.”

Orison Swett Marden​

4

2

6

​1